Being human in 2024 is hard — we live in chaotic and stressful times. Perhaps no group of humans is more stressed than our teenagers, who report levels of anxiety, stress and self-harm unparalleled in prior decades. As someone working with teenagers on a daily basis to help them navigate the college application process, I’m deeply concerned that our society’s collective approach to high school is not only misguided but harmful.
Much has been written about the various stresses our high school students face, and the college admissions process is certainly one. As the nation’s top-ranked colleges continue to position themselves more as luxury brands through ever-dwindling acceptance rates, I’m concerned that far too many students and families are losing sight of the purpose of college and falling into a trap of believing that life-long success can only be obtained if one possesses a degree from a prestigious university. Having helped hundreds of students gain acceptance to colleges across the country and watched them navigate their college experiences, I’m convinced that how one takes advantage of the resources and opportunities at college is far more important than where one attends college.
The current fixation on obtaining acceptances to the most elite colleges is resulting in an approach to high school that focuses on chasing perfection — maximizing grades, paying high prices to standardized test prep services to maximize test scores and checking the box on enough extracurricular activities to meet college admissions standards. Too frequently this focus comes at the cost of developing softer skills that will ensure a student is equipped to truly take advantage of the college experience and ensure life-long well-being.
With another school year upon us, I’d encourage our teenagers and their parents to rethink their approach to the high school experience. Instead of a place to chase after perfection, think of high school as a training ground to develop skills paramount to college and life success. Strong grades, high test scores and an array of extracurricular activities are all great, but developing relationships with classmates and faculty members, proactively pursuing healthy risks, communicating effectively and enhancing storytelling skills, developing a physical fitness routine and finding a balanced approach to technology will ensure our students are positioned to get into great colleges but also to embrace the amazing opportunities on campus once there.
Capable and resilient students benefit greatly from engaging in activities that push their boundaries and offer no guarantees of success, such as trying out for sports teams, pursuing leadership roles, or running for student government. High school provides a great environment for leaning into these experiences. I’d encourage parents to support their teen’s ambitions by responding positively to their ideas and encouraging them to take these healthy risks. Failure, an inevitable part of this process, teaches valuable lessons about resilience and strengthens character.
We continue to hear from employers and executives who express the value in employees being able to articulate ideas and stories both verbally and in writing. Unfortunately, this skill set is severely lacking in most of our teenage students. One key reason is that students are not reading enough, which hampers their ability to articulate ideas and tell compelling stories. Given the responsibilities and challenges high schoolers face, it’s understandable that reading often falls by the wayside. But I’d urge parents to encourage a daily reading habit, especially starting in middle school, to enhance student communication and storytelling skills.
Developing a physical activity routine is crucial for teenage students, as it plays a significant role in fostering resilience and reducing stress. The most successful juniors and seniors often engage in regular physical activities, whether it’s participating in sports teams, daily walks, yoga or weight training at the gym. Encouraging our teenagers to adopt a physical fitness routine can enhance their academic performance and improve their mindset, aiding in relationship-building and overall success.
Finally, finding a healthy balance with technology is crucial for long-term success and well-being. While technology is an integral part of modern life and essential for future careers, it too frequently interferes with important activities such as building relationships, engaging in community activities, and maintaining academic performance. Successful students we work with have learned to manage their technology use effectively. Establishing daily routines, such as designated hours for phone use, can help students create a balanced approach. Additionally, creating tech-free zones for studying and reading can foster a focused and interruption-free environment.
Our teens face plenty of challenges, let’s not add the pursuit of perfection in the college admissions process to the list of anxiety-inducing expectations placed upon them. In this new school year, let’s think of high school as a place for experimenting, building enriching relationships and routines and pursuing healthy risks. Our students, and the future of our collective communities, will be better for it.
Kenny Sholes (foundryadmissions@gmail.com) is the creator of Foundry Admissions Strategies, a college admissions consulting company.